Remorse: Claude's regrets
by ultimma.gothicca
Summary: Claude's nightmares haunted him for years, the soft chanting of the only being who learned to love him... He thought he can handle it, until he met Alejandro Tracy, the purified reincarnation of Alois' soul. Now he wants him back, body, heart and soul... Will Claude be rescued from his hell called Guilt? or will he plunge into a deeper hell also known as Love? Post Season 2,
1. 1: Met again

_If I had accepted that twisted affection, would he be my private paradise? Or will he be a hell much worse than I am in now?_

_Hate me Alois. Hate me than feel nothing at all._

A/N: Third Fan fiction! Whew… I want to finish Entangling Escape instead of writing this, but it's not getting enough reviews to fuel the author in me : ( Review please!

This is my way of saying, suck it Claude! How dare you kill my favorite character? You *# %* #!

If you want Claude back with Alois, **Review!**

If you don't want him back, **Review!**

I take suggestions, critiques etc... tell me if I suck... And what shall I do to improve my writing skill..

**Warning: OOC, modern time settings, and awful plot**

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Remorse:

_Houhe o Taraluna, Ron de Rotare... Houhe o Taraluna, Ron de Rotare... Houhe o Taraluna, Ron de Rotare..._

That's why we rarely sleep. Nightmares. No, more like a flashback of the past. A long, long record of tears, laughter, hatred and sorrow that haunt us from the deepest depths of our non-existent soul. They say hell is a place filled with fire, torture and gnashing of teeth to the brim. It could be true, in a way, the hell where our lord, Satan rules can be compared to the description above. But I suffer in a different hell.

My hell is regret, a pointless echo of what could've been. I find it quite too twisted for my taste. As a demon, it is only natural to be shrew, to be conniving. We are expected to be cruel. A soft demon? That is an insult. An unforgivable taunt. Call me names, but never associate _soft_ with Claude Faustus.

I rose from the soft canopy bed, draped with black velvet sheets, adorned with gold silk feather pillows. I let my eyes roam across the room painted with a tasteful shade of ecru, as if looking for something distorted. Finding none, I stepped out of the bed, slightly shaky from the dream. With long strides, I made my way to the huge mirror with a gold-plated frame. I still look the same. Golden orbs look back at me, with the same empty stare as my own. The black curls that falls idly from my head, slightly brushing against my cheeks. Creamy complexion and firm abdominal muscles. Who am I during the Victorian era, is still the same here at 21st century.

The self-conviction drops in vain. I did change. I've become more subtle, more vulnerable, and more human. Human? Hah! A demon such as me has no right to feel emotions such as love, pain, sadness or guilt. I am wired to live based on my instincts, and react only to survive. Look at Sebastian Michaelis, he who has given up everything for his _bocchan_. He's a fool. Bound for eternity, intertwined with complicated emotions, that makes him less of a demon. I know most comrades would agree with me on this one. Never mind that he's happy and contented, and I'm bored and miserable. No. I don't mind it at all.

I was greeted by the glaring sun by the time I exited the condominium building, an indication that it's already 9 in the morning. Taking my time, I walked towards the black Lamborghini, intending to drive it to our meeting place, a five-star hotel in the heart of Manhattan. I have a meeting with a few prospects for the business I currently own, Prominence Estates. I am currently a business man, famous for being a multi-millionaire at a 'young age'. Humans can be quick to judge based on physical appearance, but it worked to my advantage. My age is a secret I'll never tell.

My black Android mobile phone beeped and I answered the call. Just great. The prospect, monsieur Beau Pre just cancelled the meeting and rescheduled it next week. Nothing to do for the day, I drove around New York to past the time. A few kilometers north of the Times Square, is a café that piqued my interest. It's so French, and I raised a brow in confusion and admiration. America is mostly fast-food chains and vending machines or Italian restaurants. I parked the vehicle and entered the shop.

The moment I pushed the glass door, pink and peach dominated the place. It's tastefully decorated; the furniture reminds me of Versailles. It's a patisserie. In the air, I can recognize the fragrance of chocolate, stone fruits and cookies baking in the kitchen's oven. The display of cakes and desserts are astounding as well, the delicacies with pretty decorations of rosettes and whipped cream. But with confidence, I can say I make better sweets than the chef here.

I took a seat next to the window, a very intimate spot. The menu, made with blue crafted embossed paper caught my eye, and I engrossed myself in deciding what to order.

"Bonjour, monsieur, can I take your order?" a high-pitched male asked as I'm scanning the menu, pondering whether I'll have chocolate mousse or crème brûlée. I looked up, intending to order the latter when I felt numb from shock. Soft blonde wispy hair styled nonchalantly to the side. Pink lips moving seductively as he talk. Icy blue eyes that's both piercing and endearing. And the slim feminine body emphasized by his ivory skin. It couldn't be…

"A-Alois?" for the first time in my existence, I stuttered. I gulped and adjusted the spectacles on my face to divert my attention.

The youth raised a brow and curled his raspberry lips in a pout. "Sir, you must have mistaken me for someone else. My name's Alley." He pointed at the name plate with one black lacquered finger. "Alejandro Tracy. Not Alois." A blue eye winked and he flipped out a small notebook.

"Now let me take that order okay? Strawberry soufflé is awesome." I cleared my throat and ordered what he suggested, my voice raspy and hushed. He skipped to the kitchen cheerfully and left me at daze. I closed my gaping mouth and shook my head vigorously, trying to get back to the reality.

I've been missing him for hundreds of years. This itchy, awkward pang of conscience called guilt. I need to ease the resonance of his past. Alois… or Alejandro. It doesn't matter. I need him to free myself from the ghastly ricochet that binds his soul to me. I breathe the air harshly, filling my lungs with unnecessary oxygen and his addicting scent. I inhaled the remnants of the musky perfume that lingered. It's a different fragrance, yet it still retains the déjà vu.

Alois came back with the dessert, his hips swaying and lips smirking as he strutted to my table. The baby blue beret that matches his eyes perfectly, purple polo shirt that barely covers his torso, the black shorts that reached mid thigh, it fits snugly on his soft ivory legs. He is- adorable. The reincarnated teen gracefully placed the soufflé on the table, expertly balancing the tray with one hand. The tea and the dessert smelled divine, but perhaps it's his presence that influences my senses abnormally. The blonde head bowed politely and exclaimed. "bon appétit! "

I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn't notice him leave. The innocence in his eyes. I can almost taste his soul, purified with the new life breathe unto him by divine fate. But the past life that broke him, the past life that connected him to me, still lingers. It tainted him permanently. Just the way demons preferred their meal.

The foreign innocence of his new life makes his soul better than Ciel.

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You want more? Review baby! Here's the thing:

5 reviews= new chapter in Alois POV

10 reviews= 2 chapters

15 reviews= lemony sweetness

If I don't get reviews, it means people aren't interested with this thingy. Then what's the point in writing, right? Trust me, it's going to be goooood and we will make Claude suffer for killing poor Alois!

Olé!


	2. 2: Creeps and Bad luck

**A/N: Oh my! *squeal!* thank you for reading and bothering to accept this work in your groups! I will do my best to make this better… Promise!**

**Thanks to ****BunnyL, Akatsukismidnightsun, and to Cheesyfursona.**** i said it'll take 5 reviews to make me update, but since you guys are sooo nice to me,,, here's chapter 2!**

**The draft of how this story will go is already done, but the ending on how Alois ends up with Claude is to be decided by YOU! So tell me what's on your mind? Do you want Claude with Alois, or do you want him to be left behind drowning with his OOC tears? Do not be afraid to critique! Just don't be a meanie!**

**I don't have a beta, so mistakes are to be expected, nor am I a native speaker of English. If you want to be my beta, you can just pm me : ) I'm friendly, don't worry!**

**Warning: OOC, modern character settings, awful plot, and ratings may go up!**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji and the characters. And I'm not getting paid for this._**

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**Remorse:**

**Alois/Alley POV:**

For some reason, that customer gave me the creeps. I mean, sure, he's sooo cute. Topaz pupils hidden under spectacles, ebony hair that I bet as soft as a feather, and he looks so strong beneath the tuxedo. *swoon* But seriously, he's scary. Especially when he called me Alois. The name kinda rings a bell, or maybe because it sounds like my nickname Alley.

There he is again. The stranger keeps on ogling my thighs, but I kinda understand since my shorts, are err, short. Hey, it's my uniform. _Just shake it off_. I half-sang, half-stuttered the song. Yeah, I just wanna shake off the weird feeling of déjà vu that his aura gives away. It's like I know him. And he knows me. Eerie.

The mysterious fair-skinned man finished his food, and I stumbled to retrieve the dishes and his payment. _Hey, I got a huge tip . _I counted the money and returned to observing the stranger. He opted to stay and use the wi-fi inside the patisserie with his Apple laptop. Discreetly glancing at his stiff, black, formal suit, I wondered if he's a butler, a businessman, or a corpse to be placed in a coffin. A pretty corpse.

"Alley, right?" the creeper said. Since he's a customer, I smiled sweetly and flashed my pretty teeth to him.

"Yes sir. It's Alley. Do you need anything else?" the lame follow-up question was an emphasis of professionalism. Although I won't mind dating him. It's just that I'm taken.

Well I am a bi-sexual, and madly in love with my boyfriend Luke. He's an upper classman who's the smartest guy in school and my best friend ever since I came out of the orphanage. I was just a struggling orphan who's working my ass off to finish my studies, then we bumped at each other on my first day in High School, became friends, and the rest was history. True, I don't deserve him. He's really popular and cute, but he chose me, over all of them. He spoiled me with his love and attention like a princess. He even calls me "Your Highness" as an affectionate pet name. I won't dare ask for anything else. Just him and I can survive hell.

"Hey, baby." I looked up from serving a female customer and squealed.

"Luke!" I ran to him and hugged him tightly. His soft orangey/brown hair that's heaven on my fingers, the innocent brown eyes that sparkled with love, my Luke. He's not much taller than me, 5'6 ft, two inches higher than me. Nevertheless he's perfect. I let him go and he squeezed my cheeks with his soft fingers, I giggled. "What's with the sudden visit?" Usually he's at his home when I'm working, surfing the net and waiting for my text to fetch me from my work.

"I just missed you," he gave me that sad, puppy-eyed look. I laughed as I led him to his favorite spot next to the counter. He ordered mocha frappe, and I quickly served his order. Good thing the manager was absent today. The other staff would never dare say a word about me slacking off at work or else I'd mince them to smithereens. "Listen, I got something to tell you."

I sat beside him, slightly frowning at the super formal mood. "Is there something wrong?"

"We can't hide from my parents forever, Alley." His parents are professional dentists; his mom is working at their own clinic, and his dad at the nearby hospital. And they're catholic fanatics who abhorred gay relationships with a passion. I bit my lip to repress my tears, but nonetheless it spilled from my eyes. _Is he breaking up with me?_

"What's with the tears, baby?" he lifted his hands and wiped the liquid with his blue cotton handkerchief. "I'm not breaking up with you, Alley. Don't cry."

"But, what about your parents?" I choked. I can't lose him. Not like this. He's the only reason why I'm still breathing. I hold unto him and leaned to his shoulder, not caring if I look like some protagonist in a bad drama series. His scent of mint lingers on his green cotton shirt. I felt his lips on my blonde hair and his soft touches on my back.

"Sorry if I startled you." he smiled and pinched my nose. "I meant to say that I need to introduce you to my parents. You know, so that we can be an official couple." He lifted my chin and pressed his mouth against my parted ones. I closed my eyes and tasted him. Mocha frappe and Luke; the perfect combination.

"They might not like me," I whispered after the kiss. That's an understatement. They will hate me, aside from the social status; the same sex affair is against our religion. _I'm scared to lose him._ He ruffled my hair and laughed softly.

"Don't worry about it. I just don't like keeping our love a secret." Even at school, we tried to be discreet, knowing that our catholic academy will not take this lightly. At worst, we can be expelled. "You are not some skeleton in my closet. You are my everything." He looked straight into my eyes and with a firm voice, he declared. "I will never be ashamed of us. Remember that. We've been together for a year, isn't it about time to be official?"

I sighed and sat up, now smiling softly. "Well, I guessed you're right."

"Great," he offered his hand and we stood up together. "Be ready next Friday. You'll meet my pals, and let's see how this goes." I walked him to the door, ignoring the stares of the customers from the earlier drama. "Gotta go, baby. Need to finish some home works." Luke went to the parking lot and sat on his red motorcycle. He started the motor and blew me a kiss.

"Be careful, 'kay?" I blew a kiss back at him.

He bowed and winked. "Yes, your Highness."

He sped away from my work place and I returned inside_. Now, back to staring at the creeper._

I looked at the spot where he used to be, and no one's there. Oh, well, guess he left when I was busy crying over Luke. My happy mood returned, and I was whistling happily.

The morning past by easily, and I guess I earned a lot. _Now I can pay for the school project._ As a scholar, I only pay for miscellaneous fees, but it's quite expensive, so I need to work 3 jobs. I'm a crew here at MWF mornings, and a baby sitter during TTh mornings. School's every weekday afternoons at 1pm, and I'm an encoder at a law firm during weekends. I'm kinda busy for my age.

It's only a few minutes away before my shift ends and I'm already fixing my stuff to leave early. Just then, my phone blared Nicki Minaj's 'Va va voom', scaring the hell out of me. I was ready to scream at the caller, but when Luke's number flashes on screen, I answered immediately.

"Hey?"

"Alley? it's Craig, Luke's classmate. You gotta come here right now. Luke's motorcycle collided with a truck, and he got ran over with the ten-wheeler…"

I felt my knees drop to the floor, and before I knew it, I was crying

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How'd you like me now? *dodges the tomatoes from angry fan girls*

This is going to be a sad, angsty story… so bear with me please! What is life without drama?

Review please! 5 reviews on this chapter and I'll update immediately!

*peaceout!*


	3. Elegy

**A/N: I really don't want to update since I didn't reach the quota of 5 reviews per chapter, yet..**

**however, a guest and akatsukimidnight reviewed, and I want to show my appreciation for that :) arigato!**

**here's some very cheesy poem of what Claude really feels for Alois in this story.. **

**and to the guest, in the story, Alois' soul tasted better than Ciel's because of his new found happiness/innocence in his new life combined with the darkness of his past life.. yeah, complicated stuff.. hehehe**

**btw, i'm working on a foursome, but i'm not sure if i should post it here.. hmmm.. it's already finished and all that's left is to type it...**

**want it?**

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**Remorse: Elegy**

Do you remember those words you whispered,

How you and I should stay together forever?

I laughed like the fool I was, and thought you were weak

To offer yourself so humbly to a demon freak

You were rendered useless by the love that consumed you

Who you are was worthless, not that was anything new

Either way I hated your guts while you worshipped me like God

Now I'm just as crazy, as desperate, as mad.

I want you back, I want to hold you

I want to see your eyes in its shining blue

If I'm fighting for a lost cause I won't even care

Dead or alive, I want you here

Don't even dare to tell me your feeling have changed

Not today when I'm feeling the same

Love that you did back in that garden

I may have come from hell, but you are my heaven

Don't run away like I did before; I'm here now, I won't run anymore

Don't say you don't care, not when I do

Call me stupid but I will keep crawling back to you

I know you are happy, I know I'm not needed

I've rejected you and forever I will regret it

If it's the only way to stay by your side,

Call me a creep but I will watch you every night

Love me please, in that same fiery passion

Feel my cold heart beating in foreign emotions

A demon can love only once in an eternity

So make a fool out of me if it can make you happy


	4. 3 Oh, I will

Remorse Chapter 3

A/N: Must. Post. This. Now. An advance apology. I will not post for quite a long time,, maybe 2 months. Vacation sucks when you live in a third-world country, believe me. I want to post chappy 4 already so the plot would shape up already, but I'm not sure if enough people read this. I don't want Remorse to be like Entangling Escape, who was by the way, discontinued.

Dedicated to akatsukismidnightsun and mirariko for being so loyal… I wish I would know you personally!

Warning: OOC, not sure if I wrote Luca Macken's name correctly. I didn't finish Kuroshitsuji season 2 (even if I paid a ridiculous amount of money to buy the copy), ever since I found out that Claude killed Alois. Gomenesai!

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Luke.

Luca Macken.

To say that the name rings a bell is quite an understatement. The syllable itself is a slap to the cheek. I turned around from my pretend-surfing-the-net state to find a tall teenager, with feisty orange orbs and warm aubergine hair. He looks different from the weak, helpless, vulnerable kid from Hannah's memories. The boy before me is proud, handsome, and intelligent. Still, he looks at Alois with the same, idolizing gaze as he did in his past lifetime. It's disgusting and threatening.

Ever since I met my _danna-sama_, Luca Macken's name haunted him to the core. In his consciousness, in his sleep; in his sweet dreams and nightmares. His death made Alois' soul special. It drove him over the edge, to desperation, to an almost insane state of mind. That's when I came to the picture. I was there when Luca wasn't anymore. I was his savior, his replacement. I call him with the same adoring nickname as that wretched boy. He looks at me with his icy gaze and he sees me, a demon, as an angel in disguise to rescue him from the pits of his personal hell, his love for Luca.

I am envious of this invisible thread connecting him and _my master._ No matter what lifetime, no matter what dimension, he is always there as an important factor in his life. I am envious. Or jealous… to know which is which is too much for my heavy chest brimming with distracting emotions.

_My heart is ripped by the callous hand of fate._ I laughed without humor at the cheap joke, a consolation of bitterness. I clenched my teeth harshly as I saw their hands slowly creeping in to intertwine, their eyes hazy with nauseous love. I hate it. I hate it more than I hate Sebastian for beating me to Ciel, I hate him more than Hannah's pathetic attempt to cater to Alois. I hate it more than I hate myself for letting him go.

_Don't touch him._

_He's not yours._

_Don't you dare kiss him._

As expected of a prayer from a demon, it was left unanswered by the imbecile God floating in the heavens. I held my breath as orange met blue orbs swimming with gagging sweetness. I take back the hate, _I loathe him. _

I thought I am frigid. Emotions were foreign to me ever since I become a demon. I have learned enough. I was sent from heaven to hell because of it, anyway. Love. That makes a weak demon.

I read Luke's lips, along with vows of love and loyalty, and all the crap humans dig in. Arrogant human.

_Promising the world that was never yours to offer._

_Only I can give him what he needs._

_Weak human that will never be suitable for my special danna-sama._

Assurance, sweet nothings that make me want to vomit all the souls I digested for years.

_You don't deserve to be happy. I do_.

I turned my gaze back to the object of my affection. The beautiful blonde chimed and beamed after the slight drama. I cannot keep my eyes off him. Gentle azure eyes, wispy tresses, swaying hips and chirpy voice that is so typically Alois. He is back, better, bolder, and more desirable than ever. I was in love with his passion, that's what drawn him to me in the first place. But now I want all of him, all single little detail of him.

And the sick, innocent Luke is on the way.

I stormed out the place as fast as my demon legs could carry me. I welcomed the heat of sun shine as it finally met my skin. The air, I inhaled all that I can to calm myself. It smelled strongly of repulsive chemicals that thins the ozone layer, cheap perfume from the people buzzing around, flowers that managed to thrive in the concrete jungle, and a lot of other things. But one scent stood out, and it fired the hatred in me. _Luke._

I looked around in search of its source. It came from a low-class motorcycle in red, a far cry from my black Lamborghini. With critical eyes, I roamed my orbs to check if anyone's paying attention. Thank Satan; there are no prying eyes to hinder my mission.

_Danna-sama, if he is with you, would you consider looking at my direction twice?_

Of course not.

With the skill of a butler, and the sneakiness of a criminal, I ripped the brakes off as humanly unnoticeable as possible. It came quite easily, nothing like demon magic can't fix. Humming Mozart, I strolled to my car, laughing maniacally in my head. Inside I waited, the last time Alley will touch Luke. Can't miss that, can we?

A kiss, and the violated vehicle sped away. The typical reaction, I felt deliriously irritated by that fact. Oh, but it will be the last time. It's better this way, before that mere human will become the death of me. Cause of death: Jealousy. Sebastian would laugh his horns off if ever that happens.

I followed the motorcycle, a few meters only and:

_Crash!_

It perfectly collided with the ten-wheeler truck. Not as planned, but even better.

The huge tires pummeled through the sickly frail body, the driver sped away without mercy. It was so beautifully going to the direction where I want it. No cars stopped to his aid, and I decided to play Good Samaritan. I walked towards him, checked the passive pulse, tried to stop the blood gushing out his guts and flicked through his phone. I looked through the memory card, filled with sex videos, and copies of examinations. Quite a find, if I may say so myself. Alley made quite a show, pleasuring him in every way imaginable that I would've killed him in envy if he's still alive.

"Luke, Luke?" a thin, short male with innumerable pimple scars on his face and a horrible fashion sense approached us, obviously scared that he stopped 3 meters away from the dead body.

"Are you his friend?" I asked, in the most concern tone possible, though it still sounded like a monotone.

"Ehh… acquaintance. I'm his classmate."

I tossed the phone to his hand and glided to his direction. "Better call his parents or what. He's dead."

The nerd nodded frantically before checking on the phone. I went back to my car, but not before checking his interesting facial expressions.

At the videos: shock

At the examinations: hatred

Lastly: a sinister grin

I sped away with a smirk on my face. Something tells me that Alois will be calling for me sooner than I expected.

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please review! i really don't want to discontinue this, but i need something to push me through!

also, if you are into smuts and lemons, read the first chappy of my two-shot Initiation. thank you for the support!


	5. 5 Magic word PS God i kinda hate you

Remorse

A/N:

I smashed my phone on a wall! Yey! Now I can't write any more for 2 months!

Blame my stupidity, here's a quick update to soothe your souls!

Warning: God-bashing. It's my kind of angst, don't take it personally. Why would you summon a demon if you're all faithful with religion, neh? If you're sensitive, you can click backspace and forget about this.

also **yes akatsukimidnightsun! you got it right! virtual cookie for you, oh faithful one!**

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Alois POV:

I can't cry…

I can't cry anymore.

My throat is parched and dried up, my tears stained my cheeks, and my hair is knotted and tangled from the lack of care. I am a picture of depression. A boy who've lost the will to live. Funny how things are turning out with my life. Of all the things I can't live without, he, Luke, of all people, was taken away from me. I thought I had nothing to lose anymore. Now that he's gone, I realized I just lost the last thing that kept me holding on.

At this point in time, I would welcome any form of release, any outlet to show my agony, my angst, my hatred, my pain, my feelings. But I can't even cry, speak, nor move. I just sat there, on the church's bench, listening as the priest mumbled a few words of no significance to me. I am numb, frozen, still. I am empty. A soulless entity of no value. It's torture, to be filled with complex emotions, and yet, I cannot show them. There's no way to show them.

"God bless this soul and accept his entry to your divine kingdom"

I clenched my fingers, my nails digging roughly on my palm and drawn crimson liquid. I hate it. I hate his parents for being so clueless about us. I hate that stupid driver for killing him so abruptly and brutally. I kinda hate Luke for being so careless and leaving me. I hate myself for being so human.

But if there's someone I hate the most, it's God.

I stood up, legs trembling with weakness. With slow, small, steps, I made my way out of that place. I want release. I want to let it all out. I was a zombie, walking aimlessly to my apartment, bumping on some random strangers and streets signs. When I reached my destination, a small studio-type apartment in the slums, I opened the door.

My temples are throbbing, my brain felt like it's being picked on with a metal scalpel, and my jaw is so stiff. I haven't eaten anything for three days, and hunger came in form of shivers and shudders and acid stirring up my insides. I am fatigued from all this drama.

My vision swirled and everything went black.

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I woke up on the cold cement floor. I sat up and looked around my pathetic shoebox of an apartment. The drapes looked like rags sewn together, the furniture is just a sofa bed, and the kitchen is a cracking, leaking sink beside the small electric stove. On cold days, my heater is a small metal tank filled with burning bills, a cut-out from a bad drama movie. A pathetic orphan.

My roaming eyes caught sight of the crucifix hanging on the wall. The figure stares at me sadly in compassion, as if saying he's there for me. I snapped.

I marched towards the relic and smashed it to the floor, its pieces scattered. I trampled on it, crushed it with a shoe-covered foot. God under me.

"hahahhaha…. Hahahhaha…. HAHAHAHAHHA!" I laughed maniacally in amusement as the shattered remains were grinded smaller. The God who had abandoned me, I was so fucked up to believe in him. the very same God who was the reason why I was thrown in the orphanage in the first place, with no one considering to adopt this helpless creature. This God was the one who made it a point to force me to juggle three jobs and support myself with two meals, yes! Just two meals a day! The god who took my only reason for survival! Luke! My Luke!

"HAHAHAHAH! Are you happy now? Look? Look at me as you curse this wretched being! Look at me as I made my way to insanity! Bless the thieves, the criminals as you always do. Are you happy to demonstrate your hatred for humanity _on me?_ Hahahha! Look at me Jesus! And tell me, where is my salvation?" I kicked the powdered symbol away and dashed to my dirty sofa bed, my face buried on a pillow. My shoulders shake and my pupils moist and teary. But I wasn't crying.

I was laughing to tears at god's cheap humor.

O0o0o00o0o0

I woke up, 3 days after my beloved's funeral, and realized that I need to keep on living. Most would've resorted to suicide, but I can't kill myself just yet. I need revenge. I want vengeance.

I took bits of crackers from my almost empty cupboard and dashed to school on that Monday morning. It was a sunny day, and if I were myself, I'd probably be skipping with joy. But without Luke, there's no reason to be delighted. I walked slower to my school when I realized that my classmates would be offering some kind of crappy consolation for m. they know me as Luke's best friend and they'll be all sorry and shit and would be saying their condolences as if it will make anything better. With a sigh, I entered the school gates, nervous and annoyed.

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As I walked down the white-washed corridors, I noticed odd stares from everyone. No, it wasn't a sad or sympathetic look. It was a glare, a taunt, almost insulting. The nervousness turned into nerve-wracking fear as I approached my classroom. I slid the door open and met disgusted gazes mixed with hatred and repulsion.

"ohh, look," the red-haired cheerleader with a crush on Luke, Eiren, crossed her legs as she sat on my desk. "here's Trampcy. Didn't think the slut would be showing his face any sooner."

I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Excuse me? What are you bitching about?"

"Tell me, Alejandro Tracy, how does it feel to screw the late Luke Mc Dwight?"

"Considering he's been moaning all too much on the video," Cassandra, a brunette school officer fixed her headband and sneered with malice. "it sure was one heck of a performance."

"Isn't it disgusting? I mean we are in a Catholic School, and yet you're having gay sex on cam and ruined our school's reputation."

Nerves tingled on my spine and my stomach knotted in distaste. I felt my palms dropped a hundred Fahrenheit lower. All color was erased on my face, and as I stared at the two women 'explaining' the severity of my actions, I subconsciously dropped to the floor, weakened as I was enlightened by everyone's weird behavior. _The fucking videos…_

I felt a cold splash of aqua on my face. Craig was there along with the principal. I felt nauseous and mortified when I saw the empty bottle on Mr. Henry's hand. Just when I thought life couldn't get any worse.

"Alejandro Tracy. Office. Now!"

* * *

I walked to my job in my wet uniform and a sorry state. The words _expelled, humiliating, immoral, bad character _and _degrading _in Mr. Henry's voice echoed thoroughly like a mantra in my head. Yes, the last opportunity to have a better life was taken away from me. Fuck you God and Society. I snickered bitterly in annoyance and anger. Luke's dead, I'm expelled; now I'm bound to work my ass like a slave for 2 meals a day for the rest of my cursed life.

Luckily, my job as an encoder took some of the stress away. I focused on typing documents and finished a total of four gigabytes of files like a pro. I stretched my strained muscles and made my way back to my apartment dressed in my spare purple shirt and jeans, blaring Kesha on my earphones.

Suddenly, a hand tugged my arm and forcefully pulled me to a dark alley. I struggled and knocked my earphones off before a smelly rag was stuffed on my mouth.

"I thought it was a girl." A short man with messy graveyard dirt hair and a potbelly laughed and motioned for his other friends to come closer. My wrists were suspended on the air as I was pinned against the concrete wall. The two males, a taller, lanky bloodshot-eyed old man and a limping black-haired male strolled closer to me.

"he will do," creepy smiles haunted me with realization.

I'm going to be raped by street bums.

Oh hell to the no will I let that happen!

Only Luke can touch me.

My legs flew to his crotch and the man was temporarily immobilized as he scrunched to the ground in pain.

I removed the dirty gag and ran swiftly to my right. But before I can seal my escape, the black-haired man grabbed my leg and tripped me face down to the asphalt.

"You can't escape, kid. Better enjoy the fuck."

My hands were locked to the ground as the filthy beggar straddled my legs, touching m in weird places. My eyes burned with tears as I tried to lift myself up. Kisses fell on my neck and I closed my eyes shut, not wanting to see what's happening.

In my mind's eye, I can see Luke, a smile on his face. Then he turned younger, and younger until he looked like a four-year old kid with a giddy smile on his face.

Flames, flames, flames… red, beautiful fiery, passionate flames.

The cold cement felt like drapes, marshmallow mattresses beneath me, as the wet sloppy mouth landed on my ear. Lavender. Why does it smelled like lavender?

_Houhe o Taraluna, Ron de Rotare_

"_Houhe o Taraluna, Ron de Rotare_!" I screamed. My eyes flung open and I felt the weight off me like I just said a magical word back then.

The blurry corner cleared and before me were dead bodies, the three men who tried to rape me. Heads removed in a grotesque fashion and carmine blood gushed generously out of them it spilled on my hand, on my face, all over me. Hell, I think it even reached my soul.

_Did I do that?_ I questioned myself and sanity. I let my eyes roamed and saw to my right, a man clad in black. His eyes hidden under his specs, the wavy ebony locks didn't look the least bit disturbed. The handsome creeper from the café.

" I've been waiting for you," his voice was bland and toneless. He sounded bored. He reached for me and helped me stood up as I used his built to support myself from falling. I held unto his arm like a child, slightly wondering if all is just a dream.

"W-what are y-you?" I stammered and buried my face on his strong, muscled arm. He smelled nice, like cedar wood and peppermint. I clung helplessly, pathetically, while waiting for his answer.

"a demon you just summoned."

"i-I called you?"

"that chant was the key."

We stood there silently as I ponder on my own thoughts I don't doubt him as a demon, he is quite creepy and deadly. I doubt myself though, if I wanted a demon in the first place. He broke the awkwardness with a cough before he spoke.

"tell me, Alley. How can I serve you in exchange for your soul?"

_What I want?_

_What do I want?_

_I want Luke, but it's impossible._

_Revenge._

_I want vengeance._

I pulled away from him, a smile, so bubbly and happy. Then my expression changes to a scowl. Creased brows and flaming stares directed to his frigid expression.

"Nice, slow death. For all the bitches who defiled my life. Can you do that, oh Mr. Creepy Demon?"

* * *

4 hours in front of the computer. And I left with a cliffhanger! Am I too good to be true!

Review, or else I'd summon the souls of the beggars to rape y'all! *satanic glare*

A fact about Chikay: I don't believe in God since Dec. 9. My life's too fucked up to believe in such an ethereal existence, so sorry for the faithful ones. Don't judge me though, I hate being preached on. I almost became a nun, so I know a lot about bible and shit, and even those pagan shit and satanic shit. I didn't become an atheist just because I'm a rebellious bitch. It took a lot to take me here. It's better not to believe in God than blame him for all the shit, neh?


	6. Alois Trancy the Second

Remorse VI:

A/N: Whoa, I got a hand on the laptop. Yey!

Stay with me please!

* * *

Claude's POV

Mr. Creeper. Now that is quite demeaning.

Nonetheless, I nodded and bowed respectfully to the disheveled Alley in front of me. His violet t-shirt was wrinkled and crumpled, the denim pants unzipped, and the baby blue eyes slightly teary and wide. He is shaken from the attack earlier, not by the littered corpses around him.

_Just so danna-sama to be unfeeling towards his enemies._

"Yes, Your Highness," I blurted out in habit, but his eyes narrowed and looked at me in rage.

Stupid me, I forgotten that he doesn't remember a thing about his past life.

"Don't call me that." He coldly replied. "Never ever call me that even if it's demon protocol."

"My apologies," I helped him stand up and patted the dirt from his clothes gently. "if it pleases you, master, let us go to my place to discuss a few things."

"Hell?" he mumbled naively. I noticed his legs were still trembling so I scooped him into my arms and carried him bridal style. He looks so small and vulnerable, and his sweet fragrance lingered in the air. It felt so right to held him this close. This is where he belongs, right into my arms and inside my heart.

_I am in love with your passion. And with you as well._

"Of course not. I have a condo-unit around the area. I pose as a businessman in this realm. Hell is reserved for souls."

He snuggled against my chest and I took that as a yes. I skipped to my home happily with my prize at hand and a song in my head.

* * *

"Where do you like me to mark you with the Faustian Contract?"

Alley glanced up from his cup of coffee and watched with interest. We already agreed on a few terms and the only thing left is to mark him _mine. _As I spoke, my marked hand glowed in anticipation for him, but he did not cower or cringe. It amuses me to see him afraid and yet try his best to be brave.

The contract between us is the following:

I am not to betray or lie to him.

I must provide him with resources to live comfortably.

Execute his vengeance slowly and painfully to his enemies.

Defend him from any threats of any kind.

I am to cater to his every other demand.

"I want it on my tongue." He smiled happily and poked out the small, pink muscle. I smiled back lightly and touched it with my index finger. The yellow inverted pentagram manifested itself quickly and illuminated. Alley retracted it and lounge on my black leather divan freely.

"My reputation here is tainted." His voice was deeper and blue orbs rolled with disgust as he flipped back his blonde bangs from his forehead. "I need a new identity."

"I have one in mind, master.' I handed him a folder and his fingers flicked through it quickly.

"you will pose as Alois Trancy the Second. The great, great grandson of the British noble Alois Trancy. As you can see, the last of the Trancy's died a year ago and it is only sensible that all their prestige and wealth will be passed to you."

"What if we are found out?' my contractor bit his lips thoughtfully as he returned the papers back to me.

"I assure you that will never happen."

**Day into night, sugar into salt, living to dead, and dark blue into gold. That's what makes a Trancy butler.**

* * *

"Amazing! The resemblance is uncanny!"

"There is no doubt, he is the great grandson of the Earl Alois Trancy…"

"Grace and poise. The privilege of the youth!"

Whispers echoed across the ball room as Alley walked down the grand staircase, head held high and confident. I followed him three steps behind in complete obedience, proud as I trained him so well. Sebastian himself couldn't have done an equal job.

The ball was thrown in his honor, a welcome party by and for the nobles of different ranks from all over England. Expensive perfume mingled with the scent of French cuisine, clothes glittered like diamonds and laughter filled the summer air. I myself personally attended to its preparations, from the mansion's restoration to the party's needs. It is only befitting for a Trancy butler to make sure its _rightful_ owner is given a dashing welcome.

"For coming here tonight, I thank you all. As everyone knows, I am new to England's formalities and such, but rest assured that I will do in my utmost power to upheld my ancestor's name with the honor it deserves. I showcase myself before your noble presence, by the name of Alois the Second, Earl of Trancy. Please work with me hand in hand for the glory of the Queen. "

He raised a goblet filled with the best champagne to a toast and was well-received with a round of applause.

All throughout the night, I watch him flutter and socialize like an alluring butterfly among a garden of cultivated blooms. His dark navy tuxedo suited him well, and if I didn't know any better, I would say he had done this a few times before. Women loved him and the men adored. An interesting feat if I do say so myself.

"Can we dance?" a lady in emerald green gown with a long slit shyly smiled. Lady Margaret de Cheves. I bowed politely but refused and excused myself as an awful dancer. She took the cue and left me alone with my burgundy wine. It is unbefitting of a lady in her status to approach a man first in a dance.

_A shame._

And besides…

I glanced askance at Alejandro who was gracefully dancing with a lady in red. He smiled softly back and politely pirouetted with her before kissing the top of her hand respectfully.

If there's any one I want to dance with, that should be Alley.

* * *

"Claude," My master held up an old photograph and raised it up for me to see. I sat by his bedside and leaned, but I paused momentarily, out of surprise.

Alois and me, posing by the garden of red roses.

_My danna-sama…_

"He looked ridiculously like me," Alley laughed softly and swung his feet cheerfully at the edge of the canopy bed. "He was Alois Trancy, right? If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's my relative or something."

Suddenly his expression changes, from a very carefree grin to a sly leer. He watched me with his freezing, menacing eyes so intensely that I slightly feared he would poke my eye out like what he did with Hannah.

"But his butler right here is unmistakably you, Claude Faustus. Hmmm." He inclined predatorily to my direction and stopped inches from my face. I can feel his hot breath bouncing to my lips and with much control, I suppressed the urge to kiss him. Alejandro looked so tempting in an over-sized t-shirt that he insisted to wear. The said clothing by the way, smelled suspiciously like Luca Macken.

"is this you, Claude?"

I regretted not changing my appearance now.

"Yes, Master Alejandro." I admitted and gently tugged the photograph from his hand. It is me, alright. I looked back at the lenses with a frigid expression, and to be honest, a discontented and unhappy look on my face. Alois clung to me happily, dependently, as if he found Nirvana in me. I sighed and touched the picture of Alois with the softest pressure.

"I was also his butler at that time. I helped him extract vengeance for the death of his younger brother, Luca."

It is a lie. I never helped him. I took advantage of his weakness. But I will never tell Alley that.

"He looked so happy." Alley, or Alois the second, tucked himself beneath the sheets. I quietly breathed out a sigh of relief, but choked on it when he asked.

"Did you slept with him?"

"Master?" I looked at him with mortification.

"I don't see just contentment on his face, Claude. I see infatuation, love, passion…" he kept a straight face as he explained to me. "I can only deduct it with sex though. If you can't disobey him at that time, he'll surely order you to sleep with him."

"N-no, I-I…" I stammered pathetically for the first time in my existence. "he never did such a thing, master." I vainly defended. It wasn't a lie on my part.

He never forced his advances on me.

But he did try seducing me.

I gulped and felt my cheeks heat up when I remembered those events. Such fond memories I secretly treasure.

* * *

_"Claude, I feel so hot!" he laid spread and naked on top of his bed as he wriggled lasciviously. His pallid complexion and curvy hips would have tempt any human. I wasn't human though, and I gave him a bath to relieve the 'heat'._

Or

_Pop, pop, pop…_

_His branded tongue kept on darting out and making popping sounds as he sucked on his cream-filled spoon, with his eyes fixed on me suggestively. The triplets rolled their eyes skeptically and whispered among themselves while Hannah watched enviously at the unwanted attention._

And the time he…

_"uhmm! Ahhh! Claude!"_

_I shook my head disapprovingly as I continued cleaning the library beside his bedroom. I know he's doing it on purpose to tease me, and if ever I peeked at his room, I will see him during his very private moments._

_I digress._

_I continued dusting the shelves and erased the mental image on my head._

* * *

"Defensive much?" Alley interrupted my reminiscent moment with a giggle and tilted his head to the side. "I was kidding Claude."

I forced a polite smile and gazed at Alley's pretty face, illuminated by the bright moonlight outside the window. He is very beautiful.

The huge blue eyes, it pierces my very core of existence.

Raspberry lips stretched to a happy grim.

Cheeks dusted in a cute shade of pink.

Blonde locks that is soft and fragrant.

"hey Claude?" he muttered and winked. "Sleep with me tonight."

_Alois?_

My eyes widened in shock. "Master?" I must have looked like a bug back then.

"Sleep with me," he repeated himself before chuckling in amusement.

"I sleep on the bed, you on the couch." He pointed at the satin-covered couch and snickered loudly.

"Don't get the wrong idea. You're hot but I don't have the hots for you. I'm scared of the dark, neh?" he hid under the covers and mumbled a goodnight before turning off the light of the lampshade.

No, I did not sleep that night. I watched him, with an aching chest as he whisper Luke's name over and over again.

_He is already gone._

_I'm right here._

_Why don't you choose me instead?_

Jim Macken…

Alois Trancy…

Alejandro Tracy…

Alois Trancy the second…

I want the old Alois back.

And damn the six layers of hell if I cannot force him to love me back.

* * *

A/N: to be clear, Alley is so not an OC. He is Alois in the modern times okay? And slowly, I'll start using Alois more often.

now watching episode 11 of Kuroshitsuji season 2... sad, sad Alois...

Heads up! I'm going to add Ciel and Sebby-chan maybe 3 chapters from now? I will try my best to finish this fic so I can start Devil's Advocate or To A Summer's day already. Please stay with me!

Chikay wubs wubs wubs yah!


	7. Can't be love

Remorse VII

A/N: Yes! This is a double update!

I'm rushing this one already; I've noticed how slow I can be… haizz! I'm not getting enthusiastic reviews to fuel me! Good thing Initiation gave me a few gas to pump this up.

No beta, no time, no inspiration. Expect not so great results.

Leave a comment, before I crack O^O!

Warning: Slightly lemony.

* * *

Alois POV:

Who would've thought I'd find heaven within my hell?

I gazed at the huge mansion of the Trancy's, a beautiful earth tone hue which was designed way back in the Victorian era. It's so old, but well-maintained, like a museum artifact. The gardens are filled with beautiful roses in blood's color, my favorite variety. Butterflies danced and fluttered around me as I sit at the patio, drinking my morning tea.

"Master, your blueberry cheesecake."

"Thank you!" I smiled at Claude and sampled his dish, but not before noticing something.

"Claude, the first two buttons of your shirt's off."

His muscled chest in milky complexion is a gorgeous view, but it's a little weird to admire it when I just lost someone and something.

Luke and my soul.

And this very handsome butler is a demon.

Crushing on him is insane out of proportions. A demon owns my soul. But does it matter anymore? My soul is a small price to pay for all these things.

A decent home.

A luxurious lifestyle.

Vengeance.

Who needs God when I have Claude?

But that aside…

This place is a déjà vu. I'm not telling Claude, but mysteriously, I can find my way around that 50-roomed space without getting lost. Each wall felt like mine, and all in all it's like home. The garden and those red roses and bluebells by the fountain, it's saying something to me. Kind of like a welcome. Except that instead of feeling warm and fuzzy, it felt cold and cruel.

The eeriest part is that photograph of Alois Trancy with Claude. In every angle, I can see a younger version of me. The eyes, the nose, the lips and the hair. I'm beginning to suspect the reason why Claude's all creepy when he first saw me. His eyes almost popped out of his glasses. Now seeing this, I can say that his reaction is already an understatement.

I took out the old photo from my wallet and stared at it again for the nth time. The boy in short shorts with a huge ribbon tied around his neck, his arms wrapped around Claude's who by the way looked like a vampire rather than a demon. It's a different Claude.

The Claude before doesn't know happiness even if it hits him on the face like Frisbee.

The Claude today looked as though he knew heaven like the back of his hand, but the sad glint on his eyes suggests he haven't reached it yet.

I looked up to see Claude, buttons finally fixed and is very contentedly seated near the flowers with eyes closed.

Hmm, I guess I over analyze things. Who am I to know Claude's past life?

Guess the English tea's too strong.

Back to Alois…

The look in his eyes is different from mine. Alois is cunning, as suggested by the gleam on his orbs. It says: I've seen hell and back. His lips slightly twisted indicate he has a dual personality, maybe even a bi-polar. It can't decide between a smile or a leer. The way he dresses is not orthodox in his timeline, so I can say he's compensating for something. But the way his brows are raised to express is undeniably a sign that he's in love.

The old me probably looked more naïve than him.

And the new, godless, heartless, cursed me is in the hell Alois had managed to overcome before taking the photo.

"Congratulations, Alley. You still have it in you." I whispered and sighed. Some people say I gave a dumb first impression, like I'm so stupid or spaced-out. Truthfully, I wanted them to think I'm like that. But I don't have an above average IQ and I'm not a scholar for nothing. I can see people with these eyes, through their very soul. I know who's lying or who's just nice. Luke used to say I can be too smart for my own good, so I held back to keep my man satisfied. I don't want to intimidate him.

Now that he's gone, I will need all that I have to reach my goals. I don't trust people, not even Claude who has an unreadable face, not anyone. Who knows when he'll try to cheat and steal my soul? Demons, after all are willing to relay ninety-nine truths in order to accomplish one lie. Though I hate God, I don't plan on going to hell for nothing.

I tasted blood and realized I bit too hard on my lip. Lazily, I returned Alois' photograph in my wallet and skipped back to the mansion, not waiting for the demon to assist me.

_Yes, Luke, I won't burn in hell without those bitches beside me._

* * *

"Today, you will have a lesson in French by Mrs. Devin-"

"Je peux parler couramment le français, Monsieur," I winked and raised my feet to the table. I swung back and forth in my swivel chair like a kid as my butler lay down plans for the day.

"Then, we will proceed to the lesson in Fencing with-"

"I won the Nationals in fencing competition 3 years in a row." I smirked. Being a noble is a breeze if this is all it takes. He just wiped the glasses and placed them back on is face and combed his hands through wavy midnight hair.

"how about England's History?"

"I believe I won the inter-school competition in World History. 500 questions in one hour. Perfect score." I yawned.

When I was still at the orphanage, the Catholic nuns had a vast collection of books at the library and I used to read to pass the time. The fencing, I learned from Luke before we became lovers, and I tried my best to be number one for him. the French was taught at school, and Latin…

For some weird reason, I can comprehend and speak Latin without anyone teaching me. I came across a Latin bible and then I discovered I can understand the ancient language.

"You're faring better than I expected, Master."

"impressed?" I laughed. "Call it genius or what. Maybe I'm just a reincarnation of royalty."

I spun the pen around my hand and grinned at the dead-panned demon. "you ought to smile more often Claude. I know you don't get wrinkles, but you can't be so sure. Now give me a smile."

"If you say so, Master." He bowed and forced a smile. Or is it? It looked as though he just stretched his lips to a curve.

"Hmph. Disgusting. It's not a smile," I whined and stretched my arms out to him after feeling a little drowsy. "Bring me to my room, Claude. I want to take a nap."

"Yes, Yo-Master." He carried me piggy back style and walked to my room. He felt warm and smelled nice. I inhaled his musky, chocolate scent as we rolled to our destination.

_How will he taste if I lick him?_

I darted my tongue out, which was marked with the very sexy Faustian contract, and glided it across Claude's earlobe. It felt like marshmallows and tasted like French truffles. Yum, yum!

I sucked on the soft flesh and flavor burst out of the pores. Truffles, strawberries, vanilla and a distinct minty Claude. I was so preoccupied 'eating' him that I didn't notice that he stopped at the middle of the corridor and stiffened, until my feet knocked down an antique vase.

"Now, now. How much was that?" I pointed at the broken shard and lifted my feet higher to avoid getting cut. "Clean that later, will you?"

"Understood."

"Now take me to my room, captain!" I pointed at the direction and giggled. I'm like riding him already, as in a horse. He took the hint and bolted to my room, shocking me with his extraordinary speed.

I was tossed to the canopy bed draped with blue cotton sheets, with my head still spinning from the 'jetlag'.

"Please forgive me for being so bold," the demon removed his glasses and stuffed it inside his pocket. I stared straight into his piercing amber orbs, slightly nervous. It was a sharp gaze, almost a glare, and now I prefer him with glasses on.

"Care to tell why you devour my ear earlier, Master?" his poker-face would've made Lady Gaga proud.

"it was esculent," I spoke in faux Italian accent. "like parfait. You do smell like Belgian choco, Claude."

"Master?" he raised a brow and sighed. "Demons are sensitive, and to be frank," he looked down to his crotch. I followed his gaze and paused. There's a huge tent on his front.

_Ohh, tempting._

And amusing as well.

"hehehe," I laughed menacingly and crossed my legs. "Naughty demon. You should be punished for getting a hard-on on your master."

I pondered a little on how to torture him, dismissing bondage and such. I don't want to have sex with him. hell no! I just like flirting with him. Claude provided real entertainment that T.V. pales in comparison.

Now, I have an idea.

"C-LAU-DE," I sing out. "Give me a bath, will you? scrub my back and all."

He didn't looked slightly disturbed, but I did saw his tent twitch.

I unbuttoned my shirt first. My eyes were locked with his and I can see he held his breath as I expose myself painfully slow. Intimidating orbs roamed with my fingers, and he didn't even blink when I tossed my clothes to the side. Then the shorts. I popped the gold button and unzipped my fly before letting it fall to the ground. Now all that's left is…

My pink panty shorts with a huge print of a bunny on my butt side.

Okay, now. Don't judge me! Panties are lighter and more comfy than boxers or briefs. I wore them on a regular basis and no, it's not even a bikini. These are knickers! Or boyshorts in America.

And let's not start on the bunny part. It was Luke's idea and fetish to make me act like a girly boy in bed. It was a habit I picked up. So, don't laugh!

The gigantic bulge became gargantuan when he saw me in bunny undies. I can't help but grin widely. He would've had a heart attack if he's human.

_Well, he's not, Alois. Don't even go there._

_Demon, are you feeling hellishly hot with my vava voom figure?_

"Just hold on tight, and let me do my dance…" I get him back to reality by half-singing, half laughing Nicki Minaj's song beside his ear. He jolted back to consciousness and stood straight up, and I can swear he slightly drooled coz he wiped the sides of his lips with a thumb.

"Tsk, Self-control, Claude."

"My apologies." He mumbled blandly.

"Now bathe me." I yanked his tie (why is he always wearing a suit anyway?) and dragged him to the bathroom, the only place which was designed modernly. I sat on the edge as the handsome butler concocted soap and oil in the Jacuzzi, testing the temperature with his sealed hand before making it bubble up. I jumped to the water with my undies on, splashing the liquid all over my little drenched slave.

"Now, you're wet," I dangerously smiled before fumbling with his tie. He had to lower himself to reach me so I didn't have to stand up. I removed his top as fast as I could, ripping off buttons and zippers. He's like a gift and I unwrapped him like a greedy kid on Christmas day.

As expected, he had well-formed love handles and pectorals, the abs are defined too. he doesn't have any hair on his chest and tummy, and I am so tempted to pull down his boxers to see if he's hairless down 'there' too. Judging from the attention, he's a 'big' boy. But I won't be starting something now, although I'd be lying if I deny that little Alois is awake now.

His hair is all sensually matted and water clung to his ivory skin like crystals. He's do goddamn fucking HOT as hell. I finally understand why hell's all burning and torturously sizzling. The demons are too sexy to keep it cool. His breath hitched when I pulled him to the water. Skin to skin, my legs rubbed against his, his heat contrasted sharply with the coolness of aqua. Bubbles reached up to my chest, making me feel slightly ticklish.

"Alley," he whispered lowly. But I heard him. moving closer, I stopped inches from his face, my breath bouncing to his lips.

"Alois, Claude." I corrected him. "I've deserted that name like five minutes ago. Call me Alois. "

His soft hands caressed my back and Claude embraced me closer to him. I placed my palm on his firm chest, his heart thumping fiercely was not unnoticed by me. My chest is racing as well, but no, it's not love. It can't be love.

It's the adrenaline rush.

I tilted my head to avoid his half-lidded stare but he moved my chin with his fingers, and I was forced to look into his gold pupils.

His face, as always, is blank, but his eyes shone with something very impossible to believe.

Love? He's in love with me?

_Fuck it._

I leered and raised a brow haughtily when he leaned closer.

_He's going to kiss me?_

His top lip already met mine, and as it brushed against me, it felt incredibly soft. It's melting me.

It's too much.

I pushed him away harshly, snapping out of my own delirium and his own illusion.

"Self-control, Claude." I comb my fingers through my wet blonde tresses. I met his eyes with defiance.

I can see the hilarious wake-up face he made, but I can't laugh out loud. I kind of pity him actually. He's like a baby deprived of milk and mama's hug. Pathetic.

_Is he going to cry?_

My sense of sight may or may not be deceiving me, but I thought I saw a tear forming from the edges of his topaz eyes. I felt guilty, confused, but whatever. It's not like I actually care about how he feels.

"now make me squeaky clean, you bad boy!" I tossed him the scrub towel and laughed forcefully. His attention is finally diverted and Claude carried out my order wordlessly.

_A demon, crying? Am I crazy or what?_

* * *

Claude's torture officially starts now!

Review, suggest, demand and fan girl! Do whatever you want! I just want to hear from y'all! Please? Pretty, sexy please?

Ciel: Am I going to be in love with Alois at this fan fic?

Sebby:*jealous glare*

Claude:*a fiercer jealous glare*

Chikay: ohh,, it depends upon my mood! Or what they say!

Alois: yey! *glomps Ciel* I can finally have you Cierru!

Ciel:*hugs hesitantly, eyes at his butler whose eyes glow pink into murderous intent for Alois* you really want me that much do you?

Alois: I want you more than Claude!

Chikay to Claude: aren't they a **cuter** couple?

Claude: Remind me to kill you later.

Sebby to Claude: I'll help you with that. *smirks*

Will I be able to survive the wrath of the two evil butlers? Will Ciel finally be in love with Alois? Will Alois fall back in love with Claude? Will Izaya Orihara ever get to eat his ootoro peacefully?

Wait, that's a different issue.

Just Review okay?


	8. Blah Blah by Chikay

**A/N:**

**Chikay:yosh! i came without an update! sorry! a lot is going on and i'm forced to go back home... really don't know how to cope with that...**

**Ciel as a demon,, so HOT!**

**Sebby being slapped with cake by Ciel, so NOT!**

**What to do, some want Ciel, others don't... But rest assured people, this is an Alois X Claude fic... Even if Ciel or Alois falls for each other-**

**Sebastian: I would never allow that!**

**Claude: We actually agree in one thing *sharpens demon blade***

**Alois: What to do, Kay-chi?**

**Ciel: *watches Kuroshitsuji II with a smirk* the awful face he makes when trying to kill me. Nice one, Sebastian.**

**Chikay: Should i do a poll? No, no... i'll just wait for more reviews...**

**Do you want Ciel?**

**If it's a yes, Say YES!**

**if it's a no, say NO!**

**Ciel: but you will update sooner or later, right? You did wrote a threeshot smut in a club setting-**

**Chikay: No spoilers! Ash!**

**Ash: Yes, Your Majesty?**

**Sebastian: Your butler is that angel? o.o**

**Chikay: No one wants him so i'm taking him! Besides i'm shipping him with Drocell!**

**Claude: My apologies to everyone who came to read Remorse and end up enduring this lousy, boring dialogue. Do not fear readers! you will be able to read more about me-**

**Alois: And me!**

**Claude: Maybe next week in a triple update. I thank you all!**


	9. Everything Has Changed

Remorse VIII

A/N: My conscience is bugging me to update, since I already finished Remorse Chapter 10. I don't have a laptop with me all the time, so I couldn't type it, and I'm moving again to a far away place where I'm not sure if I'll be able to update regularly.

Anyone here who haven't yet seen Durarara!? Oh you must! Shizaya (Shizuo x Izaya) has a bigger fandom base than SebaCiel, and there are lots of good stuff in fanfiction about it! Besides, you wouldn't get my symbolisms if you haven't yet. It's crucial in chappy 8 and 9 of this fic. The anime itself is more boyish, but boy oh boy, the fanfic writers know where to hit! So watch it! At least 5 episodes.

* * *

Claude's POV

I dressed Alois in his pajamas after fixing my wet clothes with some demon magic. I looked more presentable than I was earlier with the incident in the bathroom. I shudder to think what I could have looked like back then, drenched, pathetic and naked. Vulnerable in every way. I, for the first time, shed some tears and definitely that is not the way of a Trancy butler.

_Soft._

_I have become soft._

I did not even clearly comprehend the reason for that moment of weakness. Is it because of rejection? Sadness? Was I insulted?

I wanted to kiss him, but he pushed me away. The old Alois will never do that. No, he will wrap his arms around my neck and savor each moment. He would be crying tears of joy and mumble words about how I finally accepted his love and that I will always be His Highness.

I do not even understand myself anymore. I misunderstood his ministrations as something associated with emotions. His lips on my ear, the way he pierced me with his freezing blue eyes and his complete surrender in my arms. The moment he pulled away, I realized he was just testing me. And then, I cried.

"Sleep on the couch, Claude." He whispered from under his blanket. I stared blankly at the lump beneath the covers before saying:

"Yes, Master."

With muffled footsteps, I made my way to the red satin couch located by the window. I sat and hugged the pillow I was provided with, slightly wishing I would not look so exposed. The moonlight seeps through the polished glass, but I did not bother pulling the curtains close. The light is a welcome company to the darkness that surrounds me.

It's that heavy feeling on my chest again. I cursed myself for remembering one thing, an another difference between Alois and Alley.

Alois never made me slept on the couch. I snuggled with him on the bed, telling him fairy tales and stories from the Arabian Nights.

_Why must he be so different?_

I know it's Alois, his soul is Alois! He even vaguely remembered the things I taught him in the past life! Fencing, World History, French, and I am definitely certain he can read, write and speak Latin expertly!

My plan was perfect.

Luke dies.

Alois calls me.

He makes the contract.

And he falls for me.

That was supposed to be the drill.

He has the same name, the same title, the same mansion and the same god-damned butler. So why can't he just turn back to normal?

_It's not fair._

I used to monopolize his love, attention and appreciation. I was his world! Alois Trancy and Claude Faustus, we were inseparable! But his eyes do not look the same at all. It used to shine with so much need, now he acts like I'm just his regular nanny. And truth be told, I'm not even a significant part of his life. At least, not anymore.

_Look at you, Spider. Can you even recognize the voice inside your head?_

I'm not the same me anymore. And I would never be, until _my_ Alois smacks his head on a wall and remember all his feelings for me.

_I want to escape, I want to forget._

_I want to run away from this hell called Regret._

"_Claude, I love you,"_

_"Then show me those eyes. Not the eyes of those villagers who looked as if they'd seen a pile of shit. Not the old man's greedy, inflamed eyes. That day, those eyes. Those eyes that longed only for me, Claude. "_

_"You will always be my Highness."_

Who is to blame for all my misery?

Is it Hannah for being so desperate?

Is it Ciel, for distracting me from Alois?

Is it Sebastian, for forming that wretched contract with me?

Or is it Alois himself, for forgetting all his promises to me?

But the biggest fool of the all would probably be…

ME.

_Frustrated…_

_Lonely…_

_Alone…_

What would have happen if Ciel did not exist? Would it be different if I tried seeing things in Alois' point of view? Most of all, would I realize I love him sooner if I just gave him the chance before?

If I had accepted that twisted affection, would it be my private paradise? Or will it be a hell much worse than the one I'm in now?

I can hear his deep breaths, a sign that he is deeply asleep. He is lucky that he can escape this world, even for just a few moments. If only I can sleep as deep, as sweetly as Alois. But of course, I cannot.

The moment I close my eyes, I will be back to that place, hear him chant and see myself murdering him. I do not want that, it only breaks me apart. If only I can turn back the time, I will embrace him tightly…

Eyes closed, I leaned slowly on the couch, reminiscing how he smelt, felt, and tasted. Sweet, soft and delicious.

_I would press my lips against his and feel his palms caressing my cheek. I will carry him back to the manor, to his bed and will tuck us safe and sound. A happy ending for the both of us._

_Alois, my Highness._

_You will be forever mine. My butterfly caught up in my intricate web. I will never let you fly away. Rip your wings if I must, cage you if I must and bring you to the very pits of hell with me if I must. You are tied to me, body, heart and soul. That is something no god can alter._

And Alois will smile and say:

_Take me with you, and let my hell be your heaven. I will cry if it makes you smile, bleed if it saves your life. Shed shards of diamonds for you…_

**_As I will, Your Highness…_**

"Claude…"

My consciousness fell back to reality upon hearing his gentle voice. It was Alois, rubbing his teary eyes and yawning lightly. He looked so small and adorable, and I found myself walking towards him, my own reality swirling with infatuation at his hypnotic beauty.

"I had a nightmare…" Crystals welled from the edge of his azure orbs, wide and frightened.

"Ghosts are chasing me… in the forest…"

"Hush, master." I massaged his shoulders and embraced him close to my chest. His svelte body contoured perfectly with mine, like we are made for each other. His sadness came in form of liquid that moistened my shirt, but I have seen him cry harder than that.

_In a lifetime before…_

"Do not trouble yourself with such trivial matters, Master."

"S-sorry. I can be such a baby," his tear-stained face raised to look at me and I genuinely felt compassion for him. How can I be so foolish not to see this before? He needs me. He still does, maybe not in a way that it was before, but still… I cannot part from his side.

Who will be there to comfort him from his nightmares?

Who will wipe his tears away?

Fool. I am a fool for not realizing this a lifetime ago.

Because if I had, maybe just maybe…

He would've loved me back like the way I love him now.

Alois composed himself and returned to bed, patting its side as an indication that I should stay there. I gladly obeyed, taking my place on his right side, hands clasped in an odd anticipation.

"Claude, sing me to sleep." He looks at me with buggy pupils like a small child for bed time.

"What song would you like me to sing?" I smiled at him, the realest one I showed to any human. Times like this, I cannot help but hope there's more between us.

"My favorite song, Everything has Changed…"

Taylor Swift. I was relieved it wasn't Ke$ha or All time Low.

"_And all my walls stood tall painted blue__  
And I'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you_

And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies  
The beautiful kind, making up for lost time,  
Taking flight, making me feel like

I just wanna know you better …

'Cause all I know is we said "Hello"  
And your eyes look like coming home  
All I know is a simple name  
Everything has changed  
All I know is you held the door  
You'll be mine and I'll be yours  
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed

Come back and tell me why  
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh  
And meet me there tonight  
And let me know that it's not all in my mind"

I sang to him slowly, my voice sounded unbelievably smooth and gentle as it resonated inside the room. Alois looked at me with half-lidded eyes that gently fully closed. It was an ethereal moment, a beautiful period of pure happiness on my part.

_Yes, Your highness, everything has changed._

I'm in love. That is a bittersweet confirmation on my part. How I wish to spend an eternity with Alois, to hold him in an embrace, to lock my lips into his and to hear him whisper the name he has given me over and over again.

_If there's only a way to travel back in time, I would have told him I love him too…_

_This hurts, danna-sama. Do you know how much this hurts? _

I watched him intently as his breathing steadied. Fast asleep, vulnerable and uncaring to the rest of the world. I love every part of him. His face, his body, his strange habits, his odd behavior, his vigor, his cruel heart and ruthless soul. I want him all to myself, as a demon and as a man.

Damn me for being such a weak demon.

Damn me more for being so stupid at realizing it so much overdue.

_Don't look at me as if you love me, when I know you hell don't._

_Why do you love Luke so much? I can give you everything he can, and so much more._

_I am a shameless butler_. I laughed ironically to myself as I lean closer to him. I breathed in his intoxicating fragrance of fruits and sweets, a tempting aroma better that any patisserie. I want to touch his hair and feel it slip away from my fingers.

_How shameless indeed, for a butler to desire his own master._

But maybe, just maybe, a kiss on a cheek won't hurt.

I planted a torturously brief kiss on his velvety cheek, before getting up. I walked back to my post in daze, still suspecting he's just half-asleep. Lying on my couch, I closed my eyes and commemorate the stolen kiss. Of all the things I have taken, this is by far the most special. The only thing I will not be minding to return.

_Wake up, danna-sama, and ask me to return the kiss to you. And I will, on your delectable, unchaste lips._

_I promise you, it will be worth it._

* * *

"Can you cancel everything on my schedule?"

I moved a step closer to Alois, who was wearing a bored expression on his face. We are currently in his office, discussing plans and problems of the Trancy's businesses. As I expected, the young earl had no interest or whatsoever to the current topic. He looks at me, mind obviously wandering in space.

"I want to go that toy convention in Tokyo, Japan. They showcase a lot of interesting stuff from the latest trends to antiques. Cosplayers will be there too!" he clapped his hands gleefully and stood up from his seat. "I already prepared my outfit I'm going to cosplay Shizuo Heiwajima of Durarara!"

_Danna-sama is an otaku? _I frowned inwardly at the childish demand but as I must, I consented his request.

"Very well then. I will get your private jet ready."

"Yay!" he held my hand and twirled me playfully before running to the door. "Thanks Claude!"

_He never grows up._ I smiled and flipped my phone from my pocket to send a message to the pilot.

_But it's part of his charm._

* * *

Tokyo, Japan is a lively city, with a futuristic approach in its technologies and establishment. I stare at the wild city lights by the window as I waited outside his bedroom door of the hotel suite we are renting. It was kick open and Alois pranced out with a weird stride.

"Iiii-zzzaaa-yyyaaaa!"

Alois admittedly looked comical in his bartender outfit with a candy cigarette on his mouth, and turquoise glasses hid his now-mocha orbs. He tried his best to look fearsome, walking around awkwardly with a scowl on his face.

"I told you to stay out of Ikebukuro!" he pointed at me angrily before ruining his façade with a laugh. "I was supposed to cosplay Maria+holic, but it's embarrassing to ask a tailor to measure my body for a girl costume especially now that I'm a blue blood."

We walked side by side to the exit, him babbling all about anime and yaoi while I quietly reminded myself to get a few Spiderman stuff to add to my collection.

* * *

Alois: Wait, is that a cliffie?

Chikay: uhuh… oh, btw, I really need Ciel to add pizzazz to this fic. *smirks* I eat death threats so it's no use. I'm putting him here!

Sebastian:*sharpens silverware*

Chikay: Review,please?


	10. Another Blahh

Thank you for the support, SS8 and Akatsukismidnightsun!

is working in a brothel considered as selling the soul to the devil?

i'm doing just that at the moment, but i consider this as 'research' for my works...

i tried working as a maid for a week, but after i realized that work is only easier if there's that 'one hell of a butler', damn, i resigned.

i will finish all of my stories... ALL OF IT... no suicide for me,,, Ciel fought till the end right?

what kind of a writer will i be if i left my readers hanging on a thin thread?


	11. There's no such thing as coincidence

**Remorse**

**I know, it's a short update! But I feel like I'm going to lose readers if I keep on whining and whining but not updating! I typed this on my stupid phone, and it doesn't want to cooperate with me! I'm living a hard life folks, so bear with me please! I don't have a computer here to type this baby but once I got my hands on one, I'll upload immediately.**

**Comments, reviews and messages inspire me. Please leave one. OR ELSE.**

* * *

_Alois' POV_

The toy convention is so awesome! Toys from all over the world are displayed in booths, with different sections for different countries. Plus, the cosplayers are so nice! People who wore costumes from Durarara! would drag me with them and take pictures. The others complimented me on my cosplay, and all in all, I had fun. I stayed at Japan section for hours, bidding my butler to enjoy himself as well. But when I ran out of money, I can't find him everywhere. Like, seriously! Where the hell is he?

I dragged my butt to the antique part of the convention; I mean he's old, right? I bet he's there, looking at ancient toys and whatsoever.

_Ohh,, I kinda thought about this, but vibrators and dildos are TOYS, right? Do they have ancient version of those?_

The porcelain dolls looked at me with menacing eyes as they hide behind their glass cages. Intricate play houses with delicate furniture lay open for public viewing. But the item that caught my attention is this:

A small, brown bunny plushie, with drooping ears, a top hat, and an eyepatch. It stared right back at me blankly, as if it doesn't care.

But it looks awfully familiar.

_Eyepatch, eyepatch, where did I see that?_

I glanced at the brass nameplate.

Bitter Rabbit, made by the Funtom company in the 18th century. It was owned by the-

"It's going to be auctioned later at the Grand Hall," a chiming voice with a heavy British accent beckoned me.

I spun around and met a pair of blood red pupils from a boy around my age. He has a small, arrogant smirk on his face, his black hair slightly spiky. The parka he wore trails to his hips, a trademark from my favorite anime. Izaya Orihara, information broker and antagonist of Durarara!

"Is Shizu-Chan interested in that ridiculously expensive doll?" he broke the silence with a laugh before offering his hand. "Hi, what's your name? I'm Ciel."

_Ciel..._

_Ciel... kinda rings a bell._

''Alois!'' I accepted his handshake and smiled back at him. I jolted a little at the contact. His palms were as cold as ice from Antarctica. I peered closely at his face, but the light blush assured me that he wasn't sick. No one, and I mean no one, shouldn't be allowed to be as pale as him.

Could he possibly be...

_A vampire?!_

''Alois Trancy, right?''

''Yeah. How did you know?'' I hid my intimidation with a slight scowl.

A creepy grin slashed the rather innocent face of the cosplayer before me.

''Just heard you from somewhere...''

Before I can ask him where, a tall male with straight ebony locks and crimson pupils tapped Ciel's shoulder. How did he got there in the first place without being noticed by yours truly, I'll never know. But the unpleasant face he's making marred his handsome features with unapproachable aura. I don't even have the moment to crush on him!

''This is my butler, Sebastian.'' Ciel informally introduced to me to the man in black, whose arms rest akimbo to his slim side.

''It seemed as though bocchan found a friend while I was temporarily occupied at the Hello Kitty booth.'' the velvet voice smoothly spoke, but the Hello Kitty part didn't go unnoticed.

_Hello Kitty?! What the duck?! *inward snicker*_

The kind of gaze he's giving me sends chills to my spine, interrupting my fag moment. The malice on his words too, was undeniable as he continued.

''But if I'm not mistaken, Izaya is Shizuo's mortal enemy, or am I incorrect, bocchan?'' and so? Apparently Mr. Oh so manly haven't heard of Shizaya yet. Ciel ought to enlighten his butler. Like Claude. I always tell him about Yaoi that he learned to like it, I think. It's not like he has a choice.

''Sebastian!'' Ciel gave him a deadly glare, but the tall male didn't seem to be intimidated.

Okay, this is kinda awkward. I mean, is it me, or the drop dead gorgeous butler is jealous of me? I can almost smell the sexual atmosphere, now that's just creepy. I tried hard not to look at him but I did scramble my sexy brain to figure out what to say.

''well, I-"

Before I can say anything, a loud squeal broke the tension and a couple of fangirls ran towards us. Cameras flashed and I can see Sebastian's discomfort and Ciel's relief. Who would've known that those noisy maniacs can become saviours?

''A perfect cosplay!'' a small girl in a Jigoku Shoujo cosplay ran towards us and squeaked in a doting voice.

''It's Shizaya! Please kiss for the camera! Onegai!'' the fat female in an Erika costume flashed her camera and pointed at me. I recognized her as the one who pulled me in a Durarara! group earlier.

Ciel leaned towards me, a little too close for comfort. Thin arms wrapped around my neck before he whispered in a fluid tone. ''We don't want to upset the ladies now, do we?'' who can say no to that sweet little pout?

I nodded hesitantly, I mean sure, he's a stranger, but what's the big deal about a kiss. He's cute, and he smells like vanilla ice cream that I want to lick him up.

I looked up and saw the annoying butler gave a discreet glare. All more the reason to kiss Izaya. I leered and winked before pressing my lips to the smaller male.

I tasted strawberries, chocolates, and a hint of liquor, the appendage soft and warm. It felt good kissing him. Sensations overcome my senses as I move my tongue teasingly, enough for him to taste a little bit of me.

He returned my kiss in a bolder way. His moist tongue darted out and mingled with mine, and the quiet moan he mustered was enough to make me want to dominate him right there. I can feel Sebastian's icy stare etching a hole on my bartender costume, and that was quite a revenge for me. Pissing him off feels oh so natural.

''Master?''

I snapped to my senses and turned to see an upset and surprised Claude, arms wrapped around a huge Spider-man plush toy. I felt kind of guilty, being seen like that, but it's not like we're in a relationship, so...

I let go of the tasty Ciel dreamily before scratching my neck in embarrassment. Getting carried away in front of the girls, what kind of a Shizuo am I? And being caught by Claude?!

''Guess I need to say goodbye!''

Ciel smirked and wrapped an arm around me before sneaking in a piece of paper in my front pocket.

''Call me...'' damn, that flea is sexy. He bit his lip provocatively before skipping away with his snobby servant. Talk about being in character.

I just met him, but the effect he has on me is severe. It's almost suffocating. It's feels like deja vu.

''Let's go, Claude.'' I made my way through the crowd of fangirls screaming Shizaya, with a giddy excitement to call someone. It was then that I noticed Claude's silence and his pathetic attempt to hide his face from me. God, he's such a baby!

''Forgive me for my insolence, master but-''

''If you're going to ask about Ciel, I suggest you keep it to yourself.''

He was silenced by my shrill comment, and I felt like a bitch for being so cruel.

But I don't think he'll understand. There's something about Ciel that I need to find out on my own.

Bitter Rabbit, made by the Funtom company in the 18th century. It was owned by the nobleman, Earl Ciel Phantomhive~

And there's no such thing as coincidence.


	12. It's my turn

**Weird people, why you no read the previous chappy? Alois POV, just updated yesterday,, hello?**

**my stats are weird!**

**I edited it, a little too much. It turned out different.**

**I was supposed to add a lemon of Sebastian and Ciel, but most readers came for Alois, so blah, I cut it off and focused on the bigger picture.**

**I know some readers don't like Sebastian and Ciel here, but we need a villain! So here!**

**Double update for akatsukismidnightsun, SS8, and to the others who waited patiently! I skipped dinner for this! So give me some reviews! And any lime request for this? Lemme know.**

**Watch out for my new one-shots, coming out very soon. All lemons! Yay!**

* * *

_Ciel's POV_

It's been more than a hundred years since I first met him. Icy, blue eyes that knows no boundaries, the smug facial expression he always makes, pale skin that shames the whitest rose, and his hair, a delicate gold color. The mocha contacts did not fool me. I will know that face anywhere.

_Alois Trancy._

'' bocchan, the bitter rabbit,'' Sebastian delicately handed the said item, and I sighed in sheer annoyance at my own folly. The stuffed toy which I designed myself back then is an awful remembrance of the past.

The things that meant the world to me, all vanished in the midst of time. Sometimes they reappear, like my name, the reincarnated souls of the humans that held a special place in my former life, and antiques that used to be mine.

''You're in deep thinking, my lord.'' the demon move his head askance to my direction, his eyes glinting like rubies with raw emotion.

Jealousy.

_Stupid demon._

I crossed my legs and hugged the bitter rabbit defensively.

''Have you taken our facade to your reality, ehh, Sebastian? I only allowed us to be 'lovers' to save your pride amongst your kind. Do not assume your superiority over me.''

I can see from the corner of my eyes that he clenched the Eskimo jacket on his lap, wrinkling his flawless fold on my cosplay. Reborn as a demon, his mask fades from my sight, and now the awful, dangerous him is surfacing freely.

**I hate it.**

''Does my lord prefer Alois Trancy now?'' he retorted in a cold, eerie tone. I felt my passive heart jump a millisecond with fear. Not for my life, but for the boy I am indebted to.

_I owe him my eternal life._

''I forbid you to touch him in any way, in any form if your intention is to harm him. That is an order, Sebastian.'' I glared at him, but the raven doesn't know what intimidation means. He leaned closer and looked me in the eye, our red orbs locked in a demonic staring contest. His handsome face is unsmiling, but I did not yield to my own fear. He is my servant.

He is mine.

''Am I not enough? I gave you my service in all forms. I satisfy your unending needs in bed. Can you blame me for not wanting to share you? Then bocchan, you are by far the cruelest demon I have ever met.''

''You have no right over me. You know that, demon. My soul, my demonic soul, belongs to Alois. It had been that way since you tried to end this contract-" I felt his breath hitch when I pulled his tie and touched my forehead with his. "by ending my life."

The ride to my apartment in Shinjuku was graced by silence. As I sulk in a corner, I can't help but feel betrayed.

I can't trust Sebastian as much as I can't trust Claude. They only react to their selfish needs, taking what they want with their selfish ways. That's how they survive.

Demons never lie, but they always keep half of the truth to themselves.

I only found out about this when Alois died.

Stupid, stupid, both of us are stupid.

Why did even entrust our lives to these vile, filthy creatures? Desperation? Loneliness? Revenge?

In the end, their end of the contract remained unfulfilled. Our vengeance was covered up in a thousand lies, useless death surround us, for what?

_For that ultimate flavor._

''Sebastian,'' I called his attention as he walk a few steps ahead of me, his shoes muffled by the carpet of the penthouse suite I own. The male turned around with a fake grin plastered on his lips.

''Do you think I'm a pest to you?''

The smile stayed as he answered. ''yes, my lord. You have grown far too smart for my taste. It annoys me like hell.''

''Your true color,'' I sat on the leather couch and popped a cherry lollipop in my mouth. ''is black. I can see right through your kaleidoscopic act.''

The happy grin evolved into a sly leer as Sebastian spun around go to the kitchen. ''Busy, busy, busy.''

Yes, Sebastian, reveal your true color.

A disgusting shade of nothing but malice.

Make it easier for me to leave you.

Claude Faustus... the demon who murdered Alois to satiate his palate. He who had violated my memories to turn my soul in a delightful cuisine.

Up until the next life, he never learns.

Just wait for me, Alois.

This time, I will be the one to save you.

* * *

I walked nice and slow towards Alois Trancy's manor, not knowing what to expect. Sebastian lagged behind me, with an unpleasant crease on his forehead. He obviously hated the idea of meeting the two creatures he hated most in the world all over again.

I knocked three times before the door swung open. It was Claude, in full butler attire that rivaled Sebastian's own suit. His face was blank as a slate and stoic, but I bet he did not expect my arrival.

''The cobwebs are still there,'' I slowly spoke, giving him a light leer while pointing at the webs. ''Sooner or later, the spiders got to go.''

The deadpan butler shook his head and replied. '' I do not know what business you have with my master, but I will be frank with you, Ciel Phantomhive,'' his eyes glowed in a demonic glare and I silently chuckled at the lack of self-control. '' I do not like you.''

''How ironic.'' I flipped my head back and glared back at him. '' Last century you were fighting to death for my soul. Funny how fickle you can be.'' I cut my retort short when I saw Alois in his denim shorts and red T-shirt, with a smile on his face as he ran towards us.

''Claude, let them in! That's Ciel!'' his soft blue eyes scanned me from head to toe with a spark of admiration. '' Your hair, it's bluish gray! And your eyes, deep sapphire... wow...''

''You're embarrassing me,'' I faked a blush and let him pull me inside the mansion. I noted secretly how nothing has changed.

It's all the same.

Why is Claude trying to bring back the past?''

''Your hair and eyes are different from the last time I saw you, but I recognized you with your pout.'' the blonde assisted me to the receiving area cheerfully while I try my best to match his enthusiasm.

''You only wore contacts at the convention so I was sure it was you.'' I replied lamely, and I tried hard not to frown when I saw the two demons exchanged glances.

''Claude, bring some Earl Grey tea and blueberry cheesecake for Ciel!'' Alois chirped, completely unaware of the tense atmosphere that surrounded him.

''Yes, master,''

''You help him too, Sebastian.'' I dismissed the crimson-eyed vermin with a wave before explaining to my companion. ''He's great in the kitchen.''

''Lucky you!'' the airhead clapped his hands and leaned close to me.

I'm going to have a hard time convincing him. I can feel it. His complete trust to Claude reminded me of my former connection with Sebastian. It's the same. A contract bound by blood and soul. It's strong, intimidating, and most of all, foolish.

I hate it.

''Let's play chess!'' I discreetly observed him as he ordered Faustus around, and what I saw pleased me deeply. It was a neutral, nonchalant look that assured me.

Alois Trancy the second is not in love with his butler.

A wise decision, Trancy.

I must make the move before the black chess pieces corner me to a checkmate.


	13. Alone in the battlefield

Remorse 10

**Songs that inspired point of view of:**

**Claude: Fighting for nothing by Meg and Dia band .**

** The man who can't be moved by The Script**

**Alois: Let me go by Kesha**

** Love me for me by Cher Lloyd **

**Ciel: Candles by Hey Monday**

**Sebastian : Joey had a smoke by Meg and Dia band.**

** If I lie by Slapshock**

**A/N: What's with my stats? a lot of views but no reviews? why? how the HELL am i supposed to write the new chapter if i have zero motivation? is this chapter really that awful? :'(**

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My blood crawls under skin as I watch the boys in a chess match. One, a demon bluenette who was discreetly eyeing at me from the corners of his midnight eyes, and the other, my beloved blonde who was a little too close for comfort at my nemesis.

_If only_. I sighed hopelessly in a daydream_. If only I can kill him._

But of course, his demon/lover would never allow it. I glanced briefly at Sebastian who was looking at Alois with an equal deadly gaze as mine. That, I do not comprehend. He was supposed to be keeping that tiny incubus in his pocket, not join the 'try-to-kill-with-your-glare battle: jealousy edition'.

This is ridiculous. Ciel is an incubus, as expected from a former human. They consume sex, and Sebastian, if the rumors are true, is a lot better in it than Alois. So why, pray tell, will he target my master? He already has a one hell of a butler.

Unless...

**He wants to get Alois out of our contract. **

I want to ask the other demon, but I know Michaelis will never answer me properly. Acting all friendly after he tried to kill me, it's a horrible joke. If it weren't for my self-control, I would've challenged him in a battle to death, that even hell is a better option.

"Checkmate." black coated fingernails moved the white queen next to the black king. His small mouth twisted into a smirk for victory and Alois groaned in defeat, before hauling Ciel to his bedroom to watch anime. Both butlers were ignored as they ran pass us. In exhaustion, I slumped on a chair.

Being alone with Sebastian Michaelis :** the worst nightmare**.

Might as well take this as an opportunity to ask him.

"Why is Ciel Phantomhive all over my master, " I loudly proclaimed before taking off my glasses and meeting ruby orbs with topaz pupils filled with loathing. "-When he already has a capable butler, no-" I stifled a mocking laughter which earned a well deserved glare. "-a very great lover. Or are your talents lacking to his satisfaction?"

"I wonder even more, Claude Faustus, as to why you are serving the reincarnated soul of Jim Macken, whom you murdered for your convenience. Has your standards lowered to that of a low class demon?" he ended his statement with a knowing wink that fired the hatred in me.

"I do not enjoy lecture from a demon tricked to servitude for eternity."

The moment I realized he was in behind me, I twisted and let my feet fly to his stomach. He dodged the attack and swiftly made a 'safe' distance.

**_Coward_**.

"It's not like you to retreat. Has the years turned you into a pacifist?"

"Call it whatever you may." he hissed dangerously and positioned himself to pounce at me. "At least I serve my contracts fair and square."

"Resurrecting the dying flames?" I sneered. "That was literally ages ago, Michaelis! Live with it!"

"Oh, I will," the angry expression on his face calmed a little, before he turned his heel. "Watch your back, Faustus. You'll end up perfectly like me sooner than you expect."

With that, he disappeared to the corridors, leaving me to ponder still on what he meant by that. Me, end up like him? Impossible.

_Bitterness consumes your vile soul, enslaved vermin._

I grabbed a book and opened the first page, its title is The Devil and Miss Prymm, an interesting read from Paolo Coelho. I passed the time quickly by reading leisurely when a late realization hit me like a thunderbolt.

"Like him?" I whispered to the wind as I dropped the book from my hand.

_Like him?_

_A slave of Alois Trancy for all eternity... _

_I do not mind that at all. _

_Except that when danna-sama finds out that I killed his Luke, I will be dead for sure. _

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"You sure you don't want to stay overnight?"

I tried hard not to show my disgust as Alois bid his 'guests' to the door, a teardrop threatened to fall from his beautiful eyes as Ciel kissed him cordially on the cheek.

_False courtesy. _

"Maybe next time." With that, he boarded on his Audi. His butler started the engine and sped away, much to my relief. It seems that we share equal hatred for each other.

"Master, I believe it's time for you to rest." I held his hand as we walked slowly to his room. As a routine, he stripped off his clothes for an evening bath, leaving me to feast on the young, thin body that I so longed to touch.

All along, he pretended I'm not there. From the waltz to his bathroom door to slamming it to my face, deadly silence ruled my night. He is in a foul mood, true to his bipolar nature, and I know better than to test his patience by starting a conversation. Instead, I occupied myself in fluffing the pillows and fixing the sheets, but deep within me, I am unhappy at how things are going between us.

_I know you don't care. _I sat on the couch and waited for him to come out, his thin cotton undershirt at my hand. I sniffed its fragrance absentmindedly, but stopped myself quickly. I'll never hear the end of it if he catches me. Yes, I am what some people consider as creepy. But only for Alois.

_At least appreciate the things I do for you. I think I made it obvious enough, danna-sama._

_I love you__. _

"Claude!" Alois came out from the bath, hair still dripping with water and dressed in only a pink towel. I hid the undershirt beneath my pillow quickly and met him with the other pink towel at hand to wipe his hair.

I held my breath as my towel-covered hand ran across his seductive, slender body. A work of art. When he is fully dried, I led him to his bed and dressed him in a white oversized shirt and bear printed underwear. Trust my master to defy the definition of sleepwear. I dressed him quickly, eager to let him sleep and be left to my own devices.

"Claude, can demons get sick?" his tone was detached and unemotional as he tucked himself to bed.

"I don't think so, master."

"Then why are you trembling?" blue eyes met mine with an unamused expression. I automatically gazed down only to watch my hands and knees shaking nervously. Taking a series of long, deep breaths, I relaxed myself. My body can't lie about my discomfort and insecurity, that is undeniable.

"You've been acting all weird since the convention. What's up with that?" my master raised a brow as I ponder on how to answer him.

The **Truth**: _I'm afraid your new friend Ciel will steal you away from me and expose my past mistakes to you. I cannot bear to let you go, danna-sama, because it will hurt me deeply. _

The **Lie**: "It's not about anything, master. I have a minor issue of no significant importance to you. I apologize for the disturbance it is causing you."

"You better fix yourself." Alois finally closed his eyes to lose himself to sleep. His steady breath gave it away, and I'm more than happy to have time for myself.

The night is young and the moon hides shyly behind the clouds. It's a starless evening, as hopeless as my own cause. Sleepless hours for an emotionally fatigued demon. I slightly missed the times when all I worry about is killing Sebastian and stealing Phantomhive's soul.

That time, my body moves but my heart is at rest. It was the closest thing to peace for a demon such as myself. A time when Alois is just an idiotic human in love with me. A time when I do not care.

Now, my chest beats so fast, tightening and coiling itself in bitterness and sadness. My object of affection is but a few meters away, yet I cannot even touch the ends of his hair. I took my master's shirt from under my pillow and pressed my face on the soft fabric. It smells intoxicating, a beautiful combination of French vanilla and strawberries, with a faint hint of roses.

_Just like danna-sama, passionate, sweet and addicting._

Inside my head, he is carefree, and gentle, and mine. All mine, as his lips brush tenderly on my neck, his branded tongue tasting me like candy.

_When will I find peace of mind? _

I trashed on top of the couch, with fantasies running wild in my mind theater. My hands moved on its own, creeping slowly from my chest, to my stomach, to my-

_Rustle... Rustle... _

I jolted from my position and sat up. From the window, my eyes travel across the Trancy estate in search of the foreign object lurking outside. I did not have a hard time discovering who he is. Sebastian Michaelis, sitting on a branch of a tree, beckoning me to join him. His straight, ebony hair flew with the autumn air, and his crimson pupils glowed eerily in the dark. The tailcoat he wore moves behind him, as if reminding me. I checked my own apparel for my gold knives before quietly sneaking my way out, as to not rouse Alois.

_**What does he need this time?**_

* * *

"A night visit from an incubus' lover?" I leered without humor at the red-eyed demon before me, disregarding my own uneasiness at his devious smirk. "Have you finished your 'duties ' so soon?"

"I wouldn't be pushing away free information if I were you, most especially if it's something as crucial as this."

"I do not need help." I gnashed my molars in irritation at his bravado. "We were fine until Ciel Phantomhive and his loyal sidekick came along."

"My... My... My... " Sebastian finally got down from his 'throne' and purred in mock concern. "Fine isn't exactly the right word to describe it, Faustus. Killing Luke McDwight in order to force Alejandro Tracy to form a contract, that's your best scheme yet."

**_How did he? _**

**_Impossible! _**

"I have idea of what you are talking about." I fiddled with my glasses at the bridge of my nose nonchalantly, but my heart beats so fast it betrayed me. The demon raven laughed softly and continued.

"It is all too perfect, don't you think? Alejandro's life was hell before he disappeared. His best friend died, was scandalized by videos of inappropriate nature then was expelled. One fine day, he was gone-" Sebastian snapped his fingers in the air. "just like that. Weeks later, Alois Trancy the second was found, nonetheless by you. The son of a noble who was obviously homosexual."

He waited for me to speak, head cocked to the side as if challenging me to admit my guilt.

Cheeky bastard. There's no hiding Alois' identity to him.

However...

"Killing Luke McDwight is a bit of a stretch, Michaelis." I managed to plaster a smirk that rivaled his own before lifting my eyes to meet his stare. "I merely answered to a summon. You know how **free** demons work. We grant a wish, we get a soul."

Michaelis combed gloved fingers through his stray bangs before grinning widely. The demonic glow in his eyes made his anger prominent. The insult hit him squarely at that over-inflated ego of his.

One hell of a butler, huh...

"I have witnesses who are willing to stand for trial, not to mention substantial evidence regarding this case. No need to go to court though. As soon as your master finds out about this, you are as good as dead. Then, there's my young master, willing to offer a contract in case he needs to get rid of you."

_What he is stating is true, but I do not understand at all. _

"Why are you telling me this?"

A curt, detached answer did nothing to appease my worry.

"I have my reasons." With that, he left and vanished practically into thin air.

I sank to my knees, weakened by the sudden rush of problems on my way. It's bizarre to even hope this will end without injury on my part. If I was human, I would have probably asked the sadistic God perched on top of the sky this:

**_What the hell have I done to deserve this? _**

Old enemies resurfacing, with me as the target. My arch nemesis knows my biggest secret. Not an ace in my pack of cards.

And most of all, Alois is still acting as if I'm a worthless piece of furniture.

**For once, I was alone at the battlefield. **

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**Yow, *floats on top of the flood using a large basin as a boat* Chikay here.**

**Beautiful typhoon on the move, making me feel bored enough to write this, while trying to reach a store to buy instant noodles. Basins aren't effective rafts. Manila city, soon to be Manila sea of dirty, shit-filled liquid.**

**Errors, sorry. No beta wants me :-(**

**5 reviews to make me update next week. Next chappy, Sebastian's POV? or lemon in Alois' POV(that would be just a filler)?**

**Bye!*dives into the flood* **


	14. i LOVE FANFICTION

**So yeah, I posted a new one shot called Crazy Kids: Bartender for Takeout in honor of my new readers and those who won the one-shot contest I held.**

**Apparently, some bitch called Eliminator Forum decided my story should be reported, and added it to a community along with thousands of others. For mods or whatsoever. I am really not sure.**

**I'm posting this to say that I may be forced to delete all of my stories here and move to deviantart, where bitches with nothing else to do are rare, and where people can actually write what they want to write.**

**it's all about freedom of expression. Writing is an art, just like 120 Days of Sodom and Children of the Eye. It should not be censored, or hindered, unless the writer caught an innocent reader unaware. All of my fics have warnings in it. ALL OF THEM. And believe me, I've read worse, from bestiality to necrophilia to paraphilia, to grammar nazi's and I make it my business to judge? NO! And neither should everyone. Just because someone is a better writer than you, it doesn't mean you should be bitchy and bitter.**

**In all of my fics, i pour my heart and soul to them. I don't even have my own computer, and I spend lots for an internet connection. Yet, I continue, because I feel that I should share in my fandom, that I should write not only for my satisfaction, but for my readers as well. Handful as it may.**

**I need a break, and as protest to what had just happen, I wish that people who had fics, people who believe in freedom of speech, should post a similar chapter. Shall we wait for a wipe out of fanfics just like what happened on 2012? SHALL WE LET THEM TRAMPLE ON OUR FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION? I THINK NOT.**

**IF YOU LOVE WRITING, YOU WILL ACT NOW.**

**IF YOU LOVE READING, YOU WILL ACT NOW.**

**SORRY FOR WASTING YOUR TIME, AND THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING.**

**I AM CHIKAY, AKA ULTIMMA GOTHICCA AND I LOVE FAN FICTION.**


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